Episode 25
Jaclyn Brown on The Light Beyond Abuse and Mental Illness
This week, I sit down with Jaclyn Brown of Mental Health and Us, a podcast offering practical self-care and wellness tips to help other mental health sufferers and their loved ones cope.
Her podcast takes inspiration from her 20+ year battle with depression and anxiety, and her survival of an abusive childhood, to shine a positive light on a dark subject matter.
Topics up for discussion this week include:
- how her podcast came from her journey with anxiety and depression
- why she wanted to encourage more people to talk about their mental health
- why she finds writing easier than podcasting if doing it herself
- why being a solo podcaster made it really hard for her to get started
- why she chooses anxiety as her niche, and how depression plays into that
- how mental illness changes as your life changes
- how her social anxiety has benefited from the pandemic lockdown
- what are some of the challenges she's found as a mother to a child with anxiety issues during a pandemic
- how she came to write Young Adult books
- how her abusive childhood helped shape the characters in her early books
- what she's doing different for her kids versus what she experienced as a kid
- why she feels it's so important to acknowledge displays of emotion
- why she wants her podcast to be a casual and lighter approach to mental health
- why her mother is her hero
Join me for a chat about finding light in the darker tunnels that life can take you down.
Connect with Jaclyn:
Contact me: danny@podcasterstories.com
My equipment:
- RODE PodMic
- Focusrite Scarlett Solo 3rd Gen Audio Interface
- TRITON AUDIO Fethead In-Line Microphone Preamp
- Denon DJ HP-1100 Over Ear Headphones
- RockJam MS050 Adjustable Mic Suspension Boom
- Dragonpad Pop Filter
Recommended resources:
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
Transcript
I did draw up a little bit from my childhood.
Speaker:And I was thinking about, I was thinking about this.
Speaker:I was kind of prepared to answer this question and
Speaker:I didn't really know which way I wanted to go
Speaker:with it because there are things that I definitely pulled
Speaker:from my childhood and I put into that book. But
Speaker:for the most part, I, I wrote about the life
Speaker:that I may have wanted at that time when surviving
Speaker:the Abuse. So I was acknowledging that the abuse was
Speaker:there, but, but I, I wish that it may have
Speaker:gotten on a little differently.
Speaker:Hi, and welcome to Podcaster Stories each episode we'll have
Speaker:a conversation with podcasters from across the globe and share
Speaker:their story. What motivates them by the start to the
Speaker:show are the groove show. And More, we'll also talk
Speaker:about their personal lives and some of the things that
Speaker:have happened that made them the person they are today.
Speaker:And now here's your host Danny Brown hi, and welcome
Speaker:to another episode of Podcaster. Stories where we get to
Speaker:meet people behind the voices of the shows. We listened
Speaker:to this week's a little different and chatting with my
Speaker:wife about her podcast, which is about to go through
Speaker:a sort of a rebrand and relaunch. So it should
Speaker:be able to have a, an interesting conversation. So Jaclyn
Speaker:(Jaclyn Brown), who is the host of mental health and
Speaker:me, which was about to change.
Speaker:How about you introduce yourself and your podcast to the
Speaker:listeners?
Speaker:Sure. Hi, my name is Jaclyn Brown and I host
Speaker:of the show mental health and me, or I used
Speaker:to it, it is about my, my mental health journey
Speaker:really. And it came from my blog, which I think
Speaker:were disbanding that too. So there was a lot of
Speaker:changes that I think we will, will probably talk about
Speaker:today, but, but yeah, so it's basically just my journey
Speaker:with anxiety and depression and the ups and downs with
Speaker:those to a mental illnesses and how they impact me,
Speaker:how they, how my mental health impacts my family and
Speaker:also how my family's mental health as well.
Speaker:I'm going to talk about my journey, but I also
Speaker:talk about there's because a three out of four of
Speaker:us have been diagnosed with a, with our own mental
Speaker:illnesses that are similar and different all in the same.
Speaker:So, so yeah, it's, it's quite the rollercoaster of emotions
Speaker:will say,
Speaker:And also we have three dogs, but we don't know
Speaker:what their mental health is like. So it could be
Speaker:at a higher ratio than a full year before.
Speaker:That is true. Yeah.
Speaker:So how did the idea for the show come about?
Speaker:You mentioned that you have a blog, which is sort
Speaker:of gone into the background so that it disappeared on
Speaker:to the effort of concentrate on a podcast, but how
Speaker:did the idea for the show come about?
Speaker:Well, that's all thanks to you. Actually, when I, when
Speaker:I first had the idea of doing the blogs, the
Speaker:mental health and me blogs, it was because I wanted
Speaker:to write my journey and I'm really good are, are
Speaker:used to being, and I'm up and down with my
Speaker:writing skills will say, but I used to be really
Speaker:good at writing. And so I wanted to, to write
Speaker:this blog and, and encourage other people to talk about
Speaker:their mental health as well, because there is the stigma
Speaker:and I think it's less so now, but there was
Speaker:a stigma around mental health and it, you know, should
Speaker:it be, you know, should you go to the doctor
Speaker:for your, your mental wellbeing?
Speaker:Well, yes, you should. And should we be comfortable talking
Speaker:about it? Well, many of us aren't, we've got like
Speaker:a bell let's talk day, which is one day a
Speaker:year, but we should be comfortable enough to talk about
Speaker:it, you know, whenever. And, and so my blog was
Speaker:like an outlet for that. And, and then one day
Speaker:you had said to me, let's you, you, you should
Speaker:really turned this into a podcast and, and let me
Speaker:show you how to do that. And I thought, yeah,
Speaker:that's, that could work. That sounds really good. And I,
Speaker:and I wanted to, and so I started to do
Speaker:the podcast. I think even once we had an episode
Speaker:of you and I discussing our Mental Health and Us
Speaker:together, and then the rest was just me sort of
Speaker:talking to myself and, and that's, that would be the
Speaker:answer to your question.
Speaker:That's sort of how the show began. We'll get, we'll
Speaker:get to where it's going in front of you. I
Speaker:don't want to answer your next question's before you asked
Speaker:them, but yeah, that's that, that's how it came out.
Speaker:I started the blog and then you suggested the, the
Speaker:podcast and, and here we are.
Speaker:And where did you find these, or do you find
Speaker:right in about your user talking about it via a
Speaker:podcast are a little bit of both
Speaker:And there are, this is difficult. There are days when
Speaker:I find writing much easier. When I find that I
Speaker:have something to say, it's very easy for me to
Speaker:just go and write it down. And so, so blogging
Speaker:about it can be, can be easier when I have
Speaker:something to say, I don't always have something to say.
Speaker:And so maintaining and updating a blog felt very challenging,
Speaker:especially trying to stay on topic because, you know, there
Speaker:are so many aspects too, my life, not just my
Speaker:mental health. So I found, I found that to be
Speaker:challenging, talking about it is, is easy when you have
Speaker:someone to talk to. And so I found when it
Speaker:was you and I are having a discussion, it was,
Speaker:it was easy.
Speaker:And it was natural recording a podcast that I was
Speaker:doing myself. It felt very unnatural and it felt forced.
Speaker:And, and I, I mean, like, I get nervous anyways,
Speaker:even just talking to you right now, I'm there. I
Speaker:feel my nerves, but by myself, I had a, there
Speaker:was a lot of extra pressure to, to be perfect
Speaker:and to get it right. And what am I saying?
Speaker:And what if I mess up and do I script
Speaker:this or do I not scripted if I scripted than
Speaker:it sounds like a robot, if I don't script it,
Speaker:like what if I go way off topic? And I
Speaker:forget the whole point of it. So, I mean, there
Speaker:was a lot of pressure when I was podcasting alone.
Speaker:And so I didn't S I, I didn't like it.
Speaker:I will say that. I mean, the show I liked
Speaker:what the show was about, and I liked the idea
Speaker:of it, but the actual doing it was very difficult
Speaker:for me. So if it's between the two, and it's
Speaker:just me, I'm going to say I much preferred to
Speaker:write and to speak about it, but,
Speaker:And then I think I can speak to that nervousness.
Speaker:I know all it will cost a, a record on,
Speaker:on SquadCast. What is your hope is use from my
Speaker:guests? And it's got a lot of video green room,
Speaker:and you want me to kind of switch it off
Speaker:while we are chatting with each other, even though we're
Speaker:basically next door to each other via a think of
Speaker:a wall, because I can definitely Aleut to that nervousness
Speaker:you mentioned.
Speaker:Well, yeah. And, and, and we're married, so I shouldn't
Speaker:be nervous with you. And, and, and, you know, for
Speaker:our listeners right now, we are not in the same
Speaker:room. We are sharing a wall, like you said, so
Speaker:we can't see each other. So it would make sense
Speaker:to have the cameras on. So we can see each
Speaker:other while we were talking on our separate microphone, but
Speaker:I, I'm happy to look at you and have this
Speaker:conversation with you. But when I turned on my camera,
Speaker:that means that I'm going to be looking at me
Speaker:and I would get distracted by me. And I behaved.
Speaker:So like, I just unprofessional will say, So it as
Speaker:like, you know what? This is going to go way
Speaker:better. If I turn off the camera,
Speaker:I know you've mentioned, I'll say it a, your preference,
Speaker:primarily for right-hand, if it wasn't a, a, co-host a
Speaker:show or a, a conversation on a podcast. So on
Speaker:top of that, what's been some of the challenges you
Speaker:faced early on with the show, but either from a
Speaker:technical point of view or not just getting a show
Speaker:off the ground, I guess. So
Speaker:I listened to podcasts, obviously, not quite as much as
Speaker:you it's your business to do so, but, but I
Speaker:do listen to, to some podcasts. And I find that
Speaker:I enjoy the ones that are, you know, co-hosted, or
Speaker:even if it's just one person's podcast and they're interviewing
Speaker:a guest speaker each week, I really enjoy those ones.
Speaker:And I found that when I was listening to podcasts
Speaker:that were just like one person. I mean, like the
Speaker:occasional show was just one person is totally fine, but
Speaker:like an entire series of episodes of just one person
Speaker:talking, you, you start to hear the scripts. And it
Speaker:just, it wasn't, it wasn't my thing.
Speaker:It just wasn't enjoyable. And so I didn't want to
Speaker:be like that. That's, that's one of those things that,
Speaker:that when you, when you want to do something, you
Speaker:emulate the things that you like. It's the same as
Speaker:when, you know, when writing a book, if you want
Speaker:to write a book, you tend to write in the
Speaker:genre that you like to read about it, because that,
Speaker:that's your thing. That's what, you know. So it, it,
Speaker:it makes sense for, you know, in the, in the
Speaker:podcasting world, that's the exact same thing. And so I
Speaker:just found it really, like, those were my challenges. Like,
Speaker:how do you, how do you get a podcast off
Speaker:the ground when it's just you? And you don't really
Speaker:enjoy listening to podcasts with just one person.
Speaker:So it, obviously you mentioned at the time to find
Speaker:your feet tried to find your niche. And if you,
Speaker:like, what is one of the challenges? You mentioned it
Speaker:a bit as well, that there was three of the
Speaker:four of the family, a unit suffered from some form
Speaker:of mental illness, whether it's depression or anxiety. So what
Speaker:is your podcast? Is it geared towards a family issues
Speaker:or is it geared towards a certain demographic? Who's your
Speaker:audience be for the show?
Speaker:I get, I guess, anyone, anyone who suffers from mental
Speaker:illness, I would like to gear it towards them, but
Speaker:that's a very big audience. So I niche down to
Speaker:a depression and more so anxiety than depression, but I
Speaker:do talk and, and sort of dance the line between
Speaker:both of them and how they're both related to, to
Speaker:me and how one impacts the other, because I have
Speaker:both. And, and so I would gear my, I would
Speaker:like to hear the show towards people in the same,
Speaker:same scenario, because it's, it's very, you know, like even
Speaker:anxiety, you know, you suffer from anxiety and I suffered
Speaker:from anxiety and our son suffers from anxiety.
Speaker:And now in between the three of us know, two
Speaker:of us who are the same and are symptoms or
Speaker:not the same and are, are triggers or not the
Speaker:same and our outbursts or not the same like that.
Speaker:So when, when we talk about it, we have very
Speaker:different things to say. And, and so I would like,
Speaker:I would like to put that out there really to,
Speaker:to anyone who does not suffer from anxiety. And right
Speaker:now, I don't think that anybody, but to S to
Speaker:anyone who doesn't think that they suffer from any sort
Speaker:of mental illness, give us a Listen, because you'll get
Speaker:to see what, you know, how, how different things are
Speaker:for people who do suffer.
Speaker:And, and so I would like to, you know, I
Speaker:I'd like to get your gear, the podcast towards those
Speaker:people and maybe provide some information there. But I think
Speaker:if I'm being honest, I think more people who do
Speaker:suffer and who are finding out now that they suffer,
Speaker:especially with, you know, COVID and, and people who didn't
Speaker:suffer before are definitely suffering. Now, I think that it
Speaker:would be, this would be good for them to see,
Speaker:not like it's, it's normal, it's the new normal. It
Speaker:is. That's the old normal it's normal to suffer, and
Speaker:we all suffer differently, but that doesn't make, you know,
Speaker:one person, one person's symptoms or, or, you know, one
Speaker:person is anxiety worse, or are, are stronger than somebody
Speaker:else's, you know, you can't really compare is what I'm
Speaker:saying.
Speaker:So it just, yeah, just, just hear us out and
Speaker:here, how here, how we differ and maybe you learn
Speaker:something.
Speaker:And I think that, that ties perfectly into a blog
Speaker:post, that your role on your mental health and maybe
Speaker:a blog or a couple of back, you think it
Speaker:was maybe two, three years called a glass box. A,
Speaker:that was a very broad, descriptive tower of what he
Speaker:suffered from depression and anxiety feels like. And that, that
Speaker:I know the response that you got from people either
Speaker:won't be shared on Facebook, or get in touch with
Speaker:you via email, et cetera, people were sharing how it
Speaker:touched them, because it spoke to different and, you know,
Speaker:different aspects of mental illness. So I think that's like
Speaker:you say, it's a key point is that it may
Speaker:be a show about mental health or a show about
Speaker:depression or a show about anxiety, but you've, you've been
Speaker:like dealing with this four 20 plus years.
Speaker:Now you bring up a wealth of experiences to, anybody
Speaker:can start to tap into, or if you like.
Speaker:Yeah. And it changes to, like, if you asked me
Speaker:20 years ago, you know, when I was just finding
Speaker:out what, you know, finding out the symptoms and w
Speaker:what it actually meant is very different to what I'm
Speaker:suffering. Now. It doesn't, it changes it. Ah, but it
Speaker:doesn't go away and it can get better. Like you
Speaker:can have your better days for sure. And you can
Speaker:have better months even, and go, yeah, I have beat
Speaker:this. I'm doing great. And then all of a sudden
Speaker:something happens and you sync right back into that, that
Speaker:zone. And so it's, it's, it's good to know what
Speaker:your triggers are. And it's also good to be aware
Speaker:that those triggers will change.
Speaker:They, they will. And, and I, I, I can talk
Speaker:about this forever
Speaker:Know, you mentioned the COVID earlier, and there are a
Speaker:lot more people are now realizing, or are becoming more
Speaker:aware of that, their mental health and why it's important
Speaker:to stay on top of that. If you like, what
Speaker:what's been, some of the challenges you have found both
Speaker:as the person that suffers from mental health issues and
Speaker:as a parent of a kid that also suffers from
Speaker:mental health issues during a lockdown, during a pandemic, what's
Speaker:been some of the challenges that you've you've had to
Speaker:overcome.
Speaker:So this is interesting because if you were to ask
Speaker:me, you know, what are the challenges that I've faced,
Speaker:you know, with the lockdown and, and you know, why,
Speaker:because of COVID, my anxiety has actually gotten much better
Speaker:because a lot of my anxiety has been social related
Speaker:and it's called social anxiety. And so, and you can
Speaker:certainly read about it in that glass box post, but,
Speaker:but I find that when I'm around more people, I
Speaker:am way more anxious because you know, it, it it's
Speaker:my trigger, right. It's the thing that makes me paranoid.
Speaker:I'm overthinking all of the things.
Speaker:And so now that I'm isolated and in lockdown, and
Speaker:we moved so far from everyone, we know, I mean,
Speaker:like I miss people, but I still get to call
Speaker:them in a video chat in zoom, in whatever. So
Speaker:I still get my social without actually having to enter
Speaker:their bubble. And so I'm, I've been doing a much
Speaker:better. And for the most part, you know, with lockdown,
Speaker:however, my son is different. And, and so he he's
Speaker:taken quite the turn I'm over the last little while,
Speaker:especially he's a very social being, and he's a very
Speaker:competitive being, but he's always been like a social kid
Speaker:and I'm, and so he needs his classmates and he
Speaker:needs his soccer team and he needs his extra curriculars
Speaker:and he needs, he just, he needs people.
Speaker:And right now he only has our house and he
Speaker:doesn't, he, he, you know, he, he doesn't go to
Speaker:school, he's in online learning and he doesn't have a
Speaker:soccer team and he doesn't have the things that he
Speaker:needs for his sanity. And so Y I can see
Speaker:it taking a toll on his mental health and, and
Speaker:it's been very difficult, difficult to, to parent I'll say,
Speaker:like, to, to be strong for him and, and to
Speaker:coach him and to like, I always, always, always remind
Speaker:him that it's okay to feel the feelings he's feeling
Speaker:good or bad. You're allowed, you're entitled to your emotions
Speaker:and to just have them, but it's, it's so hard
Speaker:when many of his emotions are negative.
Speaker:Now, when he's like a happy kid. And it's, I'll
Speaker:just try to answer your question. In a nutshell, it's
Speaker:very difficult.
Speaker:And it is, it's interesting. That was written on an
Speaker:article a couple of weeks back that was on a
Speaker:boat, the, the, the, the physical aspects of covert and
Speaker:the long, the long covert, you know, so you may
Speaker:recover quickly from the infection, but at the long-term damage
Speaker:to say, lungs, heart, et cetera, is still to it.
Speaker:It will be determined and what that could look like,
Speaker:but it was an interesting piece that it looked at
Speaker:what this generation's mental health will look like. And 10
Speaker:years or 20 years time when we started to look
Speaker:back and we, we will look at generations' and impacts
Speaker:of mass effects. And the, the, the concern at the
Speaker:moment is to your point, kids that are normally social
Speaker:barflies are real. And he does a social interaction. The
Speaker:ant get not at the moment, what's the impact is
Speaker:going to be on, on them.
Speaker:And what, what kind of adults are they going to
Speaker:become? And, you know, is that going to place a
Speaker:big set of stress on mental health resources in the
Speaker:next 10, 15, 20 years? Yeah.
Speaker:And, you know, I'd be interested in seeing what happens
Speaker:to our other child for, for that matter. Like, our
Speaker:daughter is also very social. She is a little social
Speaker:butterfly and all always been like the popular kid in
Speaker:the class. And everybody comes to her birthday parties. And,
Speaker:but she just has been coping much, much better with
Speaker:online learning and with social distancing and with all of
Speaker:that, she she's gets on a messenger kids or whatever,
Speaker:and, and Facebook's with her friends. So she still feels
Speaker:like she is getting that social element and, and online
Speaker:learning. She turns on her camera and she's like looking
Speaker:at all her friends. And so I feel like she's
Speaker:in the same room with them. And so maybe it
Speaker:hasn't been as hard on her, but who knows, like
Speaker:you said, the long-term maybe, maybe now she is doing
Speaker:great, but who can 10, 15 years from now, she
Speaker:might need therapy, but we don't.
Speaker:We all right.
Speaker:But it did 10 to 15 minutes from that 10,
Speaker:15 years now will be, I don't know of interest
Speaker:and the right word, but it's not only it's something
Speaker:that is, that will be, you know, that there was
Speaker:a valid point. The generalist was making it by air.
Speaker:So it will be curious to see what the impact
Speaker:that it has for sure. I think we've mentioned that
Speaker:earlier that you had to block that originated, you know,
Speaker:the, the podcasts, so to speak and you have always
Speaker:enjoyed, right. And you were actually in a corner of
Speaker:a publishing house for a few, a good few years,
Speaker:and you are a published author for yourself. We have
Speaker:several young adult books too. Your name, so that we
Speaker:could not say, what made you choose? Why a Over
Speaker:all the genres over, maybe not talking about mental health
Speaker:and your books, for instance.
Speaker:Well, when I wrote my books, I, I started writing
Speaker:actually when I was pregnant with our first child. And,
Speaker:and so I don't, I don't know. I don't really
Speaker:know what, like, I think I just like woke up
Speaker:one day and it was like, I had a dream
Speaker:last night and it was good. And I think it
Speaker:would make a good book. And then I started writing
Speaker:it. I didn't stop. Like, that's kind of how I
Speaker:started writing, but, but I say like, and I said
Speaker:this earlier in the show, too, if you want to
Speaker:write a book, you right. What, you know, right. You
Speaker:write what you would want to read you, right. What
Speaker:you want. I would enjoy reading about it. And at
Speaker:that time in my life, I read a lot, a
Speaker:young adult.
Speaker:I read all, like I read the Harry potters. I
Speaker:read the twilights, I read, I loved young adult fiction.
Speaker:And so it made sense for me at that time
Speaker:to write young adult fiction. Now I re I read
Speaker:my, like, my genre of choice is actually thrillers. And
Speaker:so if I were to start writing again, it would
Speaker:make sense for me to write a thriller. However, I
Speaker:don't think that's a good idea because you need, in
Speaker:order to right. A thriller, you need to know, like
Speaker:the way the laws of, I don't know, like police
Speaker:Academy and detective work and murder and all of these
Speaker:things that I enjoy reading about, but have no background
Speaker:and no, I'm not going to get any experience doing
Speaker:any of those things.
Speaker:So, yeah. So it doesn't make sense for me to
Speaker:continue writing, but, but yeah, to me, that was why
Speaker:I wrote young adult fiction back. Oh gosh. Like 15
Speaker:years ago when I was reading all, all of the
Speaker:young, it's been a really long time since I wrote
Speaker:Aidy. I don't know if that in perspective, but we
Speaker:can't even remember the last time I wrote fiction. Right.
Speaker:See, now I'm thinking a young adult being a part
Speaker:of the, the, the police Academy, my movies made the
Speaker:comment or a movie side than anything. Plus academies mentioned
Speaker:it. I always thought he jumped back to it. It
Speaker:was a Steve Oh, Steve Guttenberg, I think was one
Speaker:of the main guys. And the, the movie is one
Speaker:of my favorite series is for all of the early
Speaker:ones. Anyway,
Speaker:It's funny that you think of that though. Like, I,
Speaker:I guess I have a number of friends who've been
Speaker:through actual police Academy and it's not at all like
Speaker:that. It shows. So when I think police Academy, I
Speaker:think the real thing, right.
Speaker:Well, please get out of, it was a real thing
Speaker:was that, that I'd have to go back and watch
Speaker:it when we had more mishaps, but than your average
Speaker:police Academy,
Speaker:It was like the three Stooges their real to, right.
Speaker:I don't know if you can call. Yeah.
Speaker:And what are your books are here to see? Because
Speaker:you wrote, and you mentioned you are focused on young
Speaker:adults and you actually write a book series a, that
Speaker:was about a young teen who has had an abusive
Speaker:childhood and how that impacts how don't look at in
Speaker:life. And her personality is up. How much of that
Speaker:was drawn from personal experience is because when I was
Speaker:during the, I saw some parts of thought that it
Speaker:seems kind of like familiar, or if you like,
Speaker:So, so that this series that you're talking about it,
Speaker:that was the first M that was the first book
Speaker:and said of books that I ever wrote. And so
Speaker:for the record, those were never published. And they were
Speaker:just a, that was just a project I did for
Speaker:myself and the, and I made sure to get them
Speaker:bound and look pretty so that, you know, we can
Speaker:read them in a proper format instead of a word
Speaker:document, but, but it was not published. So it's not
Speaker:out there in the universe. But for those who, who
Speaker:did read it, I did draw up a little bit
Speaker:from my childhood. And I was thinking about, I was
Speaker:thinking about this. I was kind of prepared to answer
Speaker:this question and I didn't really know which way I
Speaker:wanted to go with it, because there are things that
Speaker:I definitely pulled from my childhood and I put into
Speaker:that book.
Speaker:But for the most part, I, I wrote about the
Speaker:life that I may have wanted at that time when
Speaker:surviving the Abuse. So I was acknowledging that the abuse
Speaker:was there, but, but I, I wish that it may
Speaker:have gone a little differently. And I guess an example
Speaker:of this is I never had a good relationship with
Speaker:my brother as a child, as an adult. Like we
Speaker:just, we never, we were never friends. We, we never
Speaker:had a good relationship. We never had a strong bond.
Speaker:And, and in the book that you're talking about, they
Speaker:had a very, the, the brother and sister connection was
Speaker:very strong and, and he helped her get through many
Speaker:of the, you know, ma much of the dark will
Speaker:just say all of the dark periods.
Speaker:He was there for her. And in my childhood, I
Speaker:would like, unfortunately I have to say my childhood was
Speaker:a little bit darker than that because I, I just,
Speaker:I didn't have, I didn't have that bond with my
Speaker:brother and I didn't have someone to, you know, to,
Speaker:to, you know, show me the Lite if you will.
Speaker:So I kind of had to get there on my
Speaker:own, but I mean, I did. So I feel like
Speaker:pros and cons with the, with the, Book like, yes,
Speaker:I put some of the dark in the book, but
Speaker:I showed a different side of you, you know, in,
Speaker:in the book then what actually happened. So it's more,
Speaker:it's more fiction than, than real.
Speaker:Just say that.
Speaker:And then the main character. So obviously you talked about
Speaker:bonds had strengths in and that serious. And one of
Speaker:the main characters a with the bond was that between
Speaker:the daughter and a mom as well, and all of
Speaker:us, I know how close are you and your mom
Speaker:are, did your mum Rita. And that she does she'll
Speaker:look back at some of the things that happened that
Speaker:she wasn't aware of her. What did your mom not
Speaker:get to read this, these books?
Speaker:My mom read them. And, and she was very proud
Speaker:of me actually for opening up in, in there. And,
Speaker:but she said it was very emotional for her. And
Speaker:it was very difficult for her to read some of
Speaker:that because of how honest it was. Now I will,
Speaker:I will say I kind of wrote the mom out
Speaker:of the books. And that was just easier for me
Speaker:when I was writing them to say, this series is
Speaker:about this girl and her brother and how they are
Speaker:dealing with their high school relationships. And that's it. And
Speaker:so I ended up writing the mam out of the
Speaker:Book by just saying that she worked all the time.
Speaker:So she, she was like, she, she wasn't dead.
Speaker:She was totally there, but she wasn't a part of
Speaker:the kids life because she had to work to support
Speaker:them. She had to work to get, to put a
Speaker:roof over their head. So she was like, those kids
Speaker:basically raised themselves while the mom was financing it. And,
Speaker:and that was just how I wrote the book. But
Speaker:my mom as hard of a worker as she is,
Speaker:I don't remember a time in my life when she
Speaker:was not there for me. And I think that's very
Speaker:different from what I portrayed in the book. And I
Speaker:made sure to tell her that afterwards, like I wrote
Speaker:her out because it was easier for me to write
Speaker:the story about the two siblings without a mother interference,
Speaker:because that's not what the story was about.
Speaker:So it, but like I said, it in my, in
Speaker:my life, my brother and I were not close. So
Speaker:my mom and I were, and we, of course we
Speaker:had our ups and downs, but we weren't always as
Speaker:close, but I don't remember her ever not being there.
Speaker:So
Speaker:You mean, so you mentioned that they are in the
Speaker:book, I'll say it at drew from some experiences, some
Speaker:are fictional and some are how you wanted it to
Speaker:happen with either, you know, the brother, sister dynamic and,
Speaker:and the, as a different dynamic where your mom, because
Speaker:you're so close to your mom now, I guess you've
Speaker:always been the sound of that. Are there any lessons
Speaker:you've learned from, you know, at that time that you
Speaker:spoke about it in the book, have you had to
Speaker:like to, to, to now and raised in your own
Speaker:children and now that you're a mom of two Yourself,
Speaker:Oh, it's a, it's funny. How could it have you
Speaker:don't even know how best to answer this, what I've
Speaker:learned from my childhood and how I, how I parent
Speaker:my children. I was going to say, I learn what
Speaker:not to do things that I learned. I shouldn't say
Speaker:that because my mom was awesome, but, but I know,
Speaker:I know that I show my kids every day, every
Speaker:day, how much I love them and how much they
Speaker:mean to me. And, and I don't know that that
Speaker:was ever shown to me as a child. Maybe that's
Speaker:what I needed, but, but its definitely what I do
Speaker:for my kids.
Speaker:And you'll, you'll notice and you're, and I know you
Speaker:do this also, but anyone else who sees us in
Speaker:our home environment will notice that my son, for example,
Speaker:my daughter to do, but my son More will say,
Speaker:I love you to each of us individually 20 to
Speaker:30 times a day, no exaggeration. And every time he
Speaker:says it, we say, I love you to it. Doesn't
Speaker:we don't, I'm tired of hearing that. We respond, we
Speaker:acknowledge that. He said it and we say it back
Speaker:and he'll come in for a hug and we hug
Speaker:him, but we will stop what you're doing. And he
Speaker:gets that hug.
Speaker:And, and my daughter, like I said, she does it
Speaker:too, but I think she almost does it just because
Speaker:her brother is doing it, but he, but he does,
Speaker:he go, he does this. And, and I, that I
Speaker:think, I don't know if it's something that I learned
Speaker:to do or not to do from my own childhood,
Speaker:but I made sure to, no matter how busy I
Speaker:am, I made sure to reciprocate those hugs and those,
Speaker:I love you because I think there are super important
Speaker:and they are for sure what we eat in this
Speaker:house.
Speaker:And I wonder if, when I'm I know exactly what
Speaker:we mean, obviously I'm in the house too. So I
Speaker:know exactly what you mean, but I'm wondering if you
Speaker:mentioned your daughter, doesn't say it as often, even though
Speaker:we know she does love us, but I'm wondering under
Speaker:that boils back down to your point earlier that she
Speaker:has the, the, almost the physical daily interaction with our
Speaker:classmates and friends, that our son doesn't. So maybe the,
Speaker:the physical interaction he needs his get in from the,
Speaker:the love and hugs that he, he initiates each day,
Speaker:but each time
Speaker:It could be, but I know that he was like
Speaker:this even before the lockdown in, even before COVID. And
Speaker:even when he was going to school every day in,
Speaker:in, in soccer, in his rep soccer league and doing
Speaker:that three or four times a week, like he would
Speaker:still, he still needed them to say that he loves
Speaker:us and he still needed to come in for hugs
Speaker:for no reason. And I love it, but I think
Speaker:our daughter has a little different just in that. I
Speaker:think, I think she doesn't, she doesn't need to say
Speaker:it. She knows it. So I, and I can see
Speaker:that in her because if she ever felt unloved, we
Speaker:would know it. We would certainly, she would make sure
Speaker:that we knew that she was not feeling has happier
Speaker:as loved as her brother.
Speaker:She would tell us. But, but yes, I think, I
Speaker:don't know. Maybe it could be me. It could be,
Speaker:it could be me too, because I know I'm the
Speaker:type of person that says, I love you all the
Speaker:time. And I like hearing it back. I love you.
Speaker:I love you too. I think it's important. And I
Speaker:know with my, my ex my ex partners, I can
Speaker:think of one in particular where I would say it
Speaker:and he wouldn't say it back and I'd be like,
Speaker:what's wrong? Like, don't you love me? And he was
Speaker:like, I don't feel like I need to say it.
Speaker:Like, you should just know that I do. And it's
Speaker:true. Like, we sh we should just know this. If
Speaker:we're showing it, we don't have to say it. And
Speaker:I think that's where our daughter is, but our son
Speaker:just like me needs to say it and hear it
Speaker:back.
Speaker:And so we give him that, that I don't think
Speaker:that it has so much to do with COVID made,
Speaker:it might be enhanced because of the lockdown, but I
Speaker:don't, I think it was it's something ingrained in us.
Speaker:It was like, it, it makes me think of the
Speaker:Alf movie when he was always singing. I love, you
Speaker:know, my dad and I love you too. How does
Speaker:that, does it want to reciprocate until near the end
Speaker:of the movie, but really this is like a life
Speaker:lesson. So know. I CA I I hear you. I,
Speaker:I loved the fact that he is like that, for
Speaker:sure. I know you mentioned that earlier that your show
Speaker:started off as a solo podcast and it was a
Speaker:mental health and me, but it's about to relaunch within
Speaker:the, the next few weeks, I guess, and I believe
Speaker:was going to be called Mental Health and Us where
Speaker:it's going to be a whole host a show with
Speaker:yourself and you and me, we will have guests on
Speaker:there to talk about different aspects of mental health and
Speaker:mental illness.
Speaker:So what are your goals with the show, with the
Speaker:real launch coming up and what, what do you hope
Speaker:to achieve of the show in moving forward and this
Speaker:new sort of format, if you like,
Speaker:I know I'm going to say I have similar goals
Speaker:as I did when I launched to the first time,
Speaker:except I'm hoping that it will be, I don't know.
Speaker:I want to say like less dramatic. I'm hoping it's
Speaker:more casual and, and easy going. I don't know. I
Speaker:felt like that when I first came out with it,
Speaker:just being me, it felt very like dark and I
Speaker:don't want it to be dark. I mean, like, I
Speaker:know the things that we're talking about AR you know,
Speaker:like, you know, a mental illness, not like a mental
Speaker:health, and well-being, we're talking about mental ill. We were
Speaker:talking about the downs of like a mental health and
Speaker:And I, it is, it is a serious topic, but
Speaker:that doesn't mean that we shouldn't talk about it.
Speaker:And so I'm hoping to me, I don't want to
Speaker:say I'm hoping to make it fun, but I'm hoping
Speaker:it's more of an enjoyable to the listener. Who's not
Speaker:just listening to somebody come on in vent all the
Speaker:time, because that is, that can get depressing from a
Speaker:listener perspective. So I'm, I'm my goal is to, to
Speaker:that, by opening the doors to more people that it
Speaker:becomes more enjoyable to listen to and more informational and
Speaker:less, I don't know, ranty.
Speaker:So it's like, almost like opera is like, you get
Speaker:a symptom, you got a symptom, you get a symptom,
Speaker:like they can do a crutch now. And I think
Speaker:that, that is to your point. I, I completely agree.
Speaker:It's I think there was, we all know that mental
Speaker:illness and mental health is a deep, heavy topic, and
Speaker:it can be, like you said, it can be really
Speaker:hard to get to talk about with the stigma that
Speaker:surround it. So I think bring in fun and bring
Speaker:in some sort of a, not so much energy, but
Speaker:just, Hey, we're having a normal conversation. You wouldn't feel
Speaker:bad talking about a broken arm or the fact that
Speaker:you stubbed your tour or buying your shin or whatever,
Speaker:which is physical Wheelman. So I don't think we should
Speaker:be, you know, we shouldn't be talking to any different
Speaker:way when it comes to mental ailments either.
Speaker:I don't think yes,
Speaker:I agree. So that, I don't know if that is
Speaker:Okay. That was, you have to, I was just hard
Speaker:to know a little value out there. You have to
Speaker:edit it up in the blooper reel. So we, we,
Speaker:we've been speaking about obviously the, the influences of your
Speaker:childhood and your, your, you know, growing up and some
Speaker:of the people in it. I think I know the
Speaker:answer to this question. I'm going to ask any of
Speaker:it. Who would it be? Your personal hero and why
Speaker:that person
Speaker:Ahhh. You totally know. Umm, and it is, it, it
Speaker:is somebody who is already talked about it. Lots of
Speaker:today. This is my hero is my mother like hands
Speaker:down the easiest choice. If you ask me to like
Speaker:pick a celebrity or somebody dead or whatever, I wouldn't
Speaker:have any clue where to start. But like for, for
Speaker:my, my hero, I would pick my mother because she
Speaker:is the strongest person. I know she survives anything like
Speaker:anything that comes her way. She, she can survive it
Speaker:and you know, poor girl, she broke her foot, you
Speaker:know, This week. And he has had surgery and plates
Speaker:and rods and whatever else and And and she still,
Speaker:she is surviving.
Speaker:Like she is still going and, and she had, you
Speaker:know, she had two young sons, she had her, she
Speaker:had me and my brother and when she was really,
Speaker:really young and, and so she had to re she
Speaker:had to alter her life course because she had to,
Speaker:she was a kid when she had kids will just
Speaker:say it that way. And, and then, and she did,
Speaker:and then she had to get her education differently because
Speaker:she had kids at home. So she wasn't able to
Speaker:do things the way kids did. And, or I should
Speaker:say teens like rates, she, she had to get her
Speaker:education differently and she did it and, and then she
Speaker:got a job and then she got a better job.
Speaker:And then you get a better job in like, she
Speaker:just, she is constantly working towards something and constantly progressing.
Speaker:And she's just, she's such a good role model for,
Speaker:for me. Like she, she just, she is a winner.
Speaker:I know, I don't know how can better say that.
Speaker:Like she never, even when times are tough, she manages
Speaker:to get through it and show me the positive outlook,
Speaker:you know, the positive way to look at things so
Speaker:that, you know, so that I'm not always down. And,
Speaker:and, and I can, I really like, if you are
Speaker:listening, mom, I just wanted to say, you're my hero.
Speaker:And thank you. I love you.
Speaker:And, and, and you'll get a better by a bigger
Speaker:pot and the next book.
Speaker:Yeah. It will be the thriller tho you know that
Speaker:right. As long as you got to do the victim
Speaker:had a shower, yes. Killed off a chapter or two,
Speaker:but a bigger, bigger exactly.
Speaker:It's a Jaclyn I have really enjoyed speaking with you
Speaker:today. It's been interesting. And just being a wall away
Speaker:from you. And I want to say Chuck, because normally
Speaker:if my guess is that obviously a very different veteran
Speaker:remote from me, but I really enjoyed chatting with you
Speaker:for people that want to connect with you. You are
Speaker:listening to the podcast or even, you know, check out
Speaker:a new project you are about to launch as well.
Speaker:Where's the best place to, they can find you.
Speaker:I w you know what, I want you to answer
Speaker:this question because we've done so many changes. I don't
Speaker:even know what my email address is anymore. So how
Speaker:about you answer this question?
Speaker:Okay. Fair enough. Nice. A nice day. Fluxion that deflection?
Speaker:That deflection that flex time. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, so
Speaker:the podcast is called Mental Health and Us, and you
Speaker:can find it@thementalhealthpodcast.ca Jaclyn a new project as a girl
Speaker:on a Book, which is a, a book review site,
Speaker:and memberships say it would just kind of cool. And
Speaker:you can find that at a Girl know, I you
Speaker:can find it at Girl and a book.com on a
Speaker:book. Maybe check it out at the end of February
Speaker:when it's actually.
Speaker:Yes, yes. And I I'm sure I will have email
Speaker:addresses for those too, but I actually don't even know
Speaker:what their, so once we have them, we will definitely
Speaker:post them, but I will say Girl in a Book
Speaker:is correct, because I tried as a girl and a
Speaker:book, and I was disappointed. I'm a girl in a
Speaker:book
Speaker:I have, as I say, Jaclyn thanks again for coming
Speaker:on. I'll be sure to put the, the links to
Speaker:the various sites in the podcast, in the show notes.
Speaker:So we will listen to this episode on your favorite
Speaker:podcast app, made sure to check out the show notes
Speaker:as usual as you can click straight through to them.
Speaker:So, Jacqueline, thanks again for a panel on the show
Speaker:today.
Speaker:Thank you. It's been fun.
Speaker:This has been Podcaster Stories. If you enjoyed this week's
Speaker:episode, be sure to subscribe when your favorite app, you
Speaker:can also hop over to Podcaster Stories dot com and
Speaker:get the free newsletter. So you get an episode as
Speaker:soon as it comes out until the next time take
